Transparency Suits You
by SarahZorEl
Summary: When Kara activates the Alura Hologram from Argo in 3x22. Alex and Winn try to ascertain her authenticity by asking some rather mortifying questions- ones she's frankly reluctant to answer... that is... especially in front of her real life mother.


"My Mom and Mon-El are with me, we're stranded on Argo... Sam's in trouble and we believe that Reign Is still alive!"

Staring dumbfounded Winn had to repress a shiver as he looked to the inherently creepy hologram of Alura that Kara was using to contact earth.

Screeching "ALEEEEEEEEXX"

Jumping- Alex almost choked on her newfound packet of jelly babies when she overheard Winn's girlish screams. Irritation flaring almost in tears as her snack littered the DEO linoleum, she'd spotted the British candy in Walmart, her instincts instantly taking over, just _HAVING_ to buy them... _this better be good._

Barrelling through a reinforced concrete door braced to kill.. gun in the air and hand magnets at the ready, Alex came to an abrupt halt when she saw Winn crawling around on two nobly knees as they struck hardened flooring looking up to Kara's AI in curiosity. Every now and again he'd just poke at it in fascination his hand disappearing through the holographic blue reflection.

Walking forward brows furrowed- putting her gun back in its holster _were it belonged_ "Does Kara know your trying to take a peek up her mothers skirt or?"

Scrambling upwards Winn stuttered "Its not- ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

At that the hologram just started cackling- bending over in laughter as Alex stared gravely and moving slowly backwards, eyes glazed darting, a grim hand hovering over a jutting hip as her fingers twitched unsure as to whether to reach for her gun again. Alex's voice wavered _gulping_ "Um Winn... is it, Should it to be doing that? I mean... _please_ tell me this isn't one of those weird sci-fi movies were the robot or in this case the _hologram_ becomes sentient and try's to kill me?!"

It carried on laughing maniacally.

Joining in and laughing awkwardly Alex continued "Like in all honesty there's not a lot on earth that I'd run away from but I can guarantee you I'll probably be out of that door quicker than a donut sniffing Kryptonian if it does not stop that cause' fuck me that's weirding me out... I'd honestly rather take on all _three_ worldkillers at once than- _it_ _."_

At that the image of Alura turned mildly serious flapping her right hand flamboyantly "Im not gunna' kill you silly. I just need your help!"

"Rii-ght..." she'd had enough, backing away "Nooope."

Winn sat down on the raised platform- both him and the AI singsonging "Hey! where are you going?!"

Shaking her head Alex continued her decent towards the door until Alura _the hologram_ followed popping up from nowhere and blocking the exit.

Hopping like a kangaroo... the older Danvers slid back to her original position grasping onto the back of Winn's shoulders whispering "I can't deal... why is it following me?!"

Thats when the AI popped up again flailing "BECAUSE ITS ME KARA!"

Finally _finally_ relaxing, letting out a puff of breath in relief... _thank god,_ a little disbelieving "Kara is that really you?!"

Frantic "Yesss! And Alex this is an emergency!"

Waving a hand suspiciously Winn gestured "No... I uh feel like we need to give her like a test or something like like uh- like something only Kara would know... _right_ like what was the name of your first pet?!"

Bouncing "Streaky!"

Uncertain "Nope nope that's too easy... everybody knows that!"

Alex added enthusiastically "ooo oo I know! who was the first boy you slept with?!"

Back on Argo Kara practically drowned on her own saliva... flustered as she looked over to her mother who'd cocked an exaggerated eyebrow "pfft meeeee boysss sex... nooooooo... I've neverrrrr..."

Turning to Mon-El who was giving her the 'we fucked on your couch look' she fumbled, high pitched and laughing head hastily returning to direction of her _traitorous_ friends brow crinkled and two blue fluorescent orbs squinting at the screen asking "Why-"

She was cut off- Winn butting in as he continued to idly chit-chat about her _sex life_ "Wasn't it Billy Gradle... or was it Justin Healy? Which one did she sit on and break his nose again?"

At that she heard a gasp emanating from behind her.. Mon-El mumbled "You never told me _that_ was how that happened..."

Feeling all eyes, every single one of them on her... mouth bobbing, muscle tension THAT apparent, she was fairly sure she could break the counter without ANY need for superstrength.. biting out "GUYS... if you could _pleaase refra-"_

Ignoring her.. _yet again_ they continued- bickering amongst themselves "Winn! Your supposed to be _asking_ the questions not answering them.. just leave it to me!"

Dismissively Alex turned to the hologram _who was wincing_ "Where did you and Mon-El first bang and what was that thing you said he did with his finger?"

Sighing and looking down practically loosing the will to live- angrily Kara responded "If you two don't shut up I'm going to throw you into space... right now I'm dreaming about doing that!"

Almost crying Kara dared to look in Alura's direction.. her mothers face was beet red- one palm held over her mouth... _rao!_

Guilt seeping in Kara could feel the need to defend and comfort.

"Mom... I-I can explain! ...there's there's been like three... uh _and a half_ people my whole life, I'm not some kind of floozy!"

Interrupting grinning Mon-El held his hand up in acknowledgement "I was a bit of a floozy."

Glaring- Mon-El quickly retracted that statement realising his mistake _in talking_ , pointing at evidently nothing in the opposite direction "I'm just gonna be over there, working... doing... _something_ "

Thats when Alura burst out laughing surprising _everyone_ "Oh Kara sweetheart... your _human_ prudishness at mating is really quite endearing, you do know your father used to whisper sweet nothings in bed... whilst I-"

"-esticles" Tugging at both earlobes wondering whether she'd mind if the world ended _again_ Kara practically squealed "Nooooo no no noooo!"

Running in circles cringing... every few minutes she'd lift her palms up to see if it was over... IT WAS NOT OVER!

"-He'd lick-"

"-and I'd squeeze-"

"-Zakkarian foreplay-"

"wilder than daxami-"

"...feet-"

eventually...

"...and that's why we decided to have you. Kryptonians were mostly infertile but our natural instincts and near constant copulation told us that it was time to have a child of our own using the birthing matrices."

Thinking she was done... Kara fiddled with a cache crystal _until_...

"-we even used a crystal once... actually _yes_ it was the same one you are holding now."

At that she'd decided Reign could **have** Earth and Krypton... _she may even join the children of Juru_ if it meant scrubbing this whole experience from her existence _and starting again._

Now terraforming the planet didn't seem like a bad idea- maybe a fresh start would do her good. Either way she'd happily let herself _dissolve right about now_ within Earth's _facking_ core!

Throwing the crystal to the ground and walking away _needing some air_ the infamous last words she caught were-

"Mon-El could you please assist Kara in stress relief... maybe that finger techniq-"

 _Yes_... **those** she was sure would be inscribed onto her tombstone. At least now she knows her mother evidently supported the two ex-lovers and...

 _That she shipped Karamel._

 _Fin._


End file.
